Could it be?

So I'm having M redo the design for our website, the-romas.com. Seems wrong to have a zombie themed pregnancy blog. But it also seems bit presumptuous to start posting publicly, more than I have, before officially knowing whether or not I'm pregnant. So right now, I'm just posting thoughts to myself that I will at some point move over if I am in fact pregnant. I really hope that I am, but I keep thinking that there is some cosmic power that will somehow prevent this. Not that people who would make horrible parents don't become parents every day. And I don't even think M and I would make horrible parents. In fact, I think I would be a damn good mother. I think it's the fact that I want this so much that I wonder if the universe will grant it to me this easily. I mean, a part of this process is merely chemistry. Get substance A into Beaker B and mix. Repeat. Granted, every woman is different, but generally you're not "supposed" to feel symptoms until after your pregnant. I've been nauseous since last Thursday, which would have been possibly two days after conception. Pre-implantation. I looked online and people said it was possible. I'm sure I could also look online and have these symptoms confirmed as cancer: nausea, check. headache, check. fatigue, check. Abdominal cramping, well, depends on the form of cancer. I know I'm horrible at mitigating my feelings. If I'm excited, I just have to be excited. I'm not going to be more or less disappointed. But I guess a part of me does want to reserve some excitement and wait and see. If I'm uber-sure and telling everyone and jumping up and down and then it turns out to be nothing, then would I be excited the next time when it might actually happen. I definitely feel something. I think it makes a cooler story if I can tell my kids that I felt them living me from the very moment they existed. I've loved them from before then. My favorite part so far is M talking to my stomach. It makes me simultaneously happy and sad. He's utterly convinced that it worked, that I'm pregnant, and he's hoping for twins. I love that. Normally he's the cautiously reserved one. However, he thinks there is just too much coincidence of us trying and my symptoms for there not to be some correlation.

I believe my period will be officially late November 30th, but I want to take a pregnancy test on December 2nd. It's my grandmother's birthday. I can't think of a better way to confirm new life than on the same day I'm remembering my grandmother's life. If I get my period before then, I'll live. I'm just hoping...